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July 28, 2005
My body is failing me
How many times does the average person have surgery in a lifetime?
Okay, sure, we can count wisdom teeth and tonsils. I have no idea what the answer is, but I'm pretty sure I'm already above average and I'm only 27 years old.
Age 16: Surgery on left wrist for the removal of a ganglion cyst
Age 17: 4 wisdom teeth removed
Age 19: Exploratory surgery on right wrist to determine what was wrong with is.
Age 20: Surgery on right wrist to replace the torn ligament that was found during the exploratory surgery.
Age 20: 4 months later, surgery to remove the pins that were holding the new ligament in place until it got settled.
Age 26: ACL replacement and partial meniscus removal surgery on right knee.
Today: Just found out that I will most likely be having surgery on my right wrist for the newly formed/discovered ganglion cyst. Oh, but not to worry, there's good news; they'll be able to open me up using the scar that is already there, so I won't get another scar. Well, then...sign me up.
Damn, this sucks. I am just starting to feel normal again after my surgery that was only 6 months ago. I thought I might be able to ride a bike sometime in the next couple of months. I thought there was hope of paying off the medical bills.
I know, you're thinking, "What the fuck is wrong with your wrists? Are you deformed or something?" Well, my previous wrist surgeon said, "Some people have bad knees, you have bad wrists." Bad wrist, bad. Go lay down. Go to the naughty chair. Thank god I'm not a boy...I'd probably tear a ligament masturbating. My old friends use to think it was hilarious to constantly say things like, "Don't pick that up, you might tear a ligament." I have the wonderful reputation at my physical therapist office for being a huge klutz. I don't know why, maybe it was because 3 months after surgery I fell down the damn stairs in front of my apartment. They are now teaching me how to walk properly.
Shannon, I'm pretty sure you've got me beat. Especially with the severity of your injuries. I just want to say, I feel for you, as much as I can.
So, I'm pretty sure it's time for me to go out and purchase a bubble.
Posted by meloknee at 06:38 PM | Comments (3)
July 27, 2005
nepotism
Check out my brother's new website:
It looks a lot better in IE, sadly. When I talked to Danielson about this, he said he is working on the problems. He knows firefox is better, but 90% of the population still uses IE.
To that, I say, "Screw 'em." If they are that lame, what do they care about good movies and video games??
However, since he is my brother...go support them. They are even highlighting Seattle events. Beer and Kung fu, how can you beat that?
Posted by meloknee at 06:06 PM | Comments (3)
Sonnets
Due to my serious writers block, I am posting some old poetry, in fact, two sonnets. One of which is in honor of my trip to Fresno, they are both from my beginning poetry writing class in college, many, many years ago.
What's a sonnet? You say. Well, it is a 14 line poem, often written in iambic pentameter, and follows this rhyming scheme:
abab cdcd efef gg
In italics, I will enter my professor's comments.
There's nothing like a Fresno summer eve,
The many falling stars grace skies so clear,
At times I feel like these I never want to leave,
I'll sleep through days without the heat to fear.
Home of one of seven wonders of earth,
with water falling down and mountains high,
most people forget all that it is worth,
and never see snow fall on winters nigh'.
Interesting stuff in here
In August heat those nights seem never near
your breath forms clouds though mouths never touch air,
When I cannot go in and have a beer,
I stand outside and smoke without a care,
This city where I live will never change.
Never to leave this mediocre range.
Nice
Side note: I have since realized that Yosemite is not one of the 7 wonders of the earth...
The next sonnet does not rhyme, but is in iambic pentameter except for the two "turning points" in the poem, which break the meter intentionally to grab your attention.
I'm walking down the street to get some milk
I'm headed to the local grocery store
I'm crossing rivers o'er a weathered bridge
A voice comes from a man I cannot see
He grinds his teeth and speaks out loud
"The drugstore cowboy is my name" he says
I do not say a thing and walk away
I find myself in front of my latched gate.
When finally I reach my door at home
I put away the groceries that I bought
I don't have shit to do and laugh out loud
I picture The Man coming from shadows
He's riding on a deathly pale white horse
And from its head did sprout a funny horn.
Very strange poem. What does it mean?
So, in case you haven't figured out what it means...
It means abso-fucking-lutely nothing.
It means a friend and I stayed up really freakin' late trying to finish my damn poetry assignment. That's what it means. It also means that I had a very valid reason for despising my poetry professor; did she really think it had meaning?
Posted by meloknee at 11:23 AM | Comments (1)
July 23, 2005
Cool stuff
Thanks to Alex and R.E. Load Bags for my new backpack, I love it!!
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With matching laptop bag and all.
Posted by meloknee at 07:46 PM | Comments (2)
Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas
Okay, you all remember that Jim Hensen show I made you watch at our Christmas Dinner. The one I swear is my favorite and I love so much. The one you all hated and laughed and laughed at me for liking so much and making you watch and you all went along with it because you felt sorry for me because I was having surgery and because shannon and I bought you all those really sweet toys??
Well, I'm not even sure now of the chain in which led me to this chick's blog, but she likes to make shit jokes and she LOVES emmet otter's jug-band christmas. It's nice to know I'm not the only one. I also like the fact that she blogged about it in the middle of the summer. Probably because it had been at least 6 months since she last saw it and forgot how even though it is so good and my favorite christmas show, it really is painful to watch.
I'm not hungry, I'm hunnnggrrryyy!!!!!
Posted by meloknee at 05:14 PM | Comments (1)
July 22, 2005
The pros and cons of tissues plus lotion
Pro:
My nose is not raw, dry, cracked and bleeding.
Con:
My upper lip won't stop sweating.
Warning:
Do not attempt to clean your glasses with tissues plus lotion. If you do this while you are sick, you will want to cry.
Posted by meloknee at 12:52 PM | Comments (0)
In honor of my recent post about FUBS
Posted by meloknee at 10:17 AM | Comments (1)
July 21, 2005
FUBS
I just had a great conversation with my boss and coworker about FUBS. We were laughing about people who "blow up the bathroom" at work. Apparently one time someone stunk it up so bad that they both stood outside the bathroom waiting to see who it was. She doesn't work here anymore. Apparently she constantly had some sort of gastro problem, my boss said, "she always wore these white trousers and there was always a brown spot in the back that ran down her leg."
So, in case you're wondering, FUBS stands for Fucked Up Bowel Syndrome. My friends Shellie and Leslie came up with it a long time ago. One of them openly suffers from IBS, aka FUBS. They went on a vacation to Italy and Greece a couple years ago and the best story (aside from the engagement) that they had to tell me is when they were in Italy and one of them had to use the bathroom really bad. The only toilets they could find were pay toilets, but as they had just gotten to the country, they didn't have any change yet. So, she had to go up to the bathroom attendant who didn't speak much english and explain to him that if he didn't let her use the bathroom she was going to shit her pants right there, in front of him. So, he let her in, and then she spent so much time exploding on the pot that her legs went numb. Now that's a serious case of the FUBS if I've ever heard one.
Posted by meloknee at 05:34 PM | Comments (3)
July 19, 2005
What an absolutely Dupre day!
As I was sitting at home this evening doing my proofreading, I became extremely perplexed. First, I came across a line that said, "The building is overall Dupre." I thought to myself, hmm...that's an odd description, but maybe it's condo jargon. A few pages later it said, "The building is in Dupre condition." I was now more confused, but my internet had decided to quit working and there was nothing I could do to figure out what this was talking about. This goes on and on; Dupre condition for the neighborhood, Dupre recollection, This would be a Dupre time for a break. That is what finally got me laughing, for one second the thought crossed my mind that maybe the attorney was making fun of the witness for overusing this "Dupre" saying that I had never heard before until I realized what had happened. At some point, the court reporter accidentally hit a key that changed all the "good"s to "Dupre"s.
So, tomorrow, when someone asks you how's your day, just say, it's Dupre, darling, absolutely Dupre.
Oh, and just for fun, look up Dupre in Wikipedia.
Posted by meloknee at 09:53 PM | Comments (0)
Freezer Rags
Last night was a freezer-rag night. For Seattle, it was pretty darn hot, 88 degrees. At noon today, while walking to work, I said to myself, it's cooler right now than it was at midnight last night. I was right, at midnight it was still 70, at noon it was only 68.
Growing up in Central California, no one could afford to run the air conditioner 24 hours a day. So, at night, we'd turn on the fans and my mom would give us a wet wash cloth to cool our faces and necks so that we could fall asleep. As I got older, my roommates and I invented the freezer rag. Late at night, we'd all go get a wash cloth and get it all wet, ring it out and then lay them in the freezer. We'd go out back, drink a few cold beers and then go inside and grab our freezer rags and go to bed. I'd lay in bed with the freezer rag balancing on my nose while it would slowly melt and form to my face.
Now I live in a tiny apartment with a crappy old fridge that barely even has a freezer, so I couldn't make a freezer rag. However, after trying for hours to fall into a deep sleep, I did go get a wet wash cloth to put over my face. I pointed the fan straight at me and fell fast asleep.
Aaah...what would I do without my mommy?
On a side note, also while walking to work today, a lady threw a coke at me. I don't know why, or if it was meant to actually be thrown at me, but I got coke all over my feet and had to walk to work with sticky coke feet. Sucks.
Posted by meloknee at 07:35 PM | Comments (4)
July 18, 2005
i am officially obsessed with california.
i guess I'm suffering from a bit of, "you can take the girl out of California but you can't take the California out of the girl." It's fairly obvious that I am going through some serious homesickness. It is so embarrassing to admit being homesick when you're from Fresno. I don't think that it's necessarily Fresno that I am homesick for, I think it's California as a whole.
This weekend, Alex and I went to the Mariner's game. What a perfect day for a baseball game. It was 80 degrees, sunny, warm, baseball weather. People were leaving the game because it was too hot. Too hot?!
I knew when I first moved to Seattle that I wouldn't live here for the rest of my life. It's beautiful here, don't get me wrong. I love the weather, I'll probably never be able to afford the views I've had here in any other city, the mountains and water are gorgeous. It's really the people and mentality that I just don't get. For example; for the first 3 years that I lived here I lived in the same building. We had a huge, grassy backyard that overlooked the city. It was fenced so the dogs could run around, there were tables and chairs, you could BBQ and drink beers. The whole 3 years that I lived there, a total of maybe 10 people went in the backyard. The building had roughly 60-70 residents, I would think, and hardly any of them ever went in the yard. I felt so lucky to have a yard in the city and just couldn't understand how no one ever went back there.
Now I live in a neighborhood with a few really nice condo buildings that have balconies with gorgeous views. I do not have a balcony or yard anymore. I take my dog out on walks every day and none of these people are ever out on their balconies. They have all this super nice, matchy furniture that is NEVER used. It makes me so angry and confused.
I don't think I ever ate a meal inside during the summers when I lived in Cali. We never went to bars and sat inside. The summers were all about being outdoor sun worshippers. Here, in Seattle, we are blessed with the most amazing summers. People get all dressed up in their REI gear and do what? Where are they? Sure, maybe they hike on the weekends and spend their summers camping on the peninsula, but what about every night after work?
My friend told me that she lives in a condo that has an outdoor heated pool and she is the only person ever swimming in it. How do people in Seattle learn how to swim?
Anyway, for everyone's sake, I hope that my trip to Cali cures my longing and obsession. Until then, you may be cursed with the constant rantings of stupid Seattle and the praises for a place I no longer live.
In fact, I may just feel a list coming on...
Posted by meloknee at 07:19 PM | Comments (1)
July 15, 2005
Dilemmas of dog custody
For those of you who don't know, I have joint custody of my dog, aggie. I am the main guardian and if either of us ever move away, full custody rights belong to me. Meanwhile, in Seattle, the Ex gets visits with her on Monday evenings, Thursday & Saturday overnight visits. I dream of the day when I get to take custody away from him. I am so tired of sharing my dog, I miss her when I don't have her, I'm sick of arranging my schedule around him, I'm tired of seeing him so many times a week. But, we got her while we were together and raised her together for the first 3 years of her life, so it's not really fair. The only reason there wasn't a battle over who got custody is first, that my parents bought her for my college graduation and second, he was an asshole to me so I pretty much got first choice in what I wanted of all our stuff.
This morning I went outside to meet them in front of my building as I do every Friday at 8:00am. He must have had to get to work early or something because he just handed me the leash and started running back home (yes we live close enough to run home). I took aggie and started walking inside. Normally she runs up the stairs ahead of me but this morning she wouldn't even walk up them. I made her do it figuring there was some food or really good smell at the bottom of the stairs, but when we got to the next set, it was the same thing. Finally I walked over to her and realized that her harness was on backwards and if that happens, it's really, really tight. This is very easy to do, if you just grab it and start putting it on without really paying attention there is no obvious right or wrong way. You just have to remember which side the clasp goes on. Apparently in the Ex's rush to get to work on time he didn't notice it was backwards.
Anyway, I took off the harness and aggie started whimpering and crying and was really stiff, she wouldn't go up the stairs. I had to pick her up and carry her. We went inside and she went straight to bed, just whimpering while laying there. Now we are laying in bed together, if I pet her she whimpers, if she moves, she whimpers, it's so sad. I called my mom first and she said wait a couple of hours and see if she can get up and walk. I then called Ex and told him what happened. I wanted to be mad at him for hurting her, but I couldn't be...not when he starts crying when I tell him that she's hurt, and he feels like it's his fault. I mean, I'm not even crying or teary eyed. I feel really bad for her because every time she moves she cries...but I'm not crying, yet anyway.
How can I take custody away from a cry baby?
Update:
Shannon was kind enough to take aggie and I to the vet this morning. Aggie is fine, she just has some sore muscles. She is spending the afternoon lounging on Shannon's couch.
Posted by meloknee at 08:44 AM | Comments (3)
July 14, 2005
Where the streets have no names
When I first moved to Seattle, I had a hell of a time remembering the street in downtown (no, not the numbered ones, I was able to figure that out on my own). Shannon was kind enought to teach me this great mnemonic device to remember them: Jesus Christ made Seattle under protest.
J - Jefferson, James
C - Cherry, Columbia
M - Marion, Madison
S - Spring, Seneca
U - University, Union
P - Pike, Pine
I have since had the pleasure of sharing this knowledge with many, many people and thought I would pass it on further. Many of the people I teach it to have lived in Seattle for years & years and still don't know which streets are where.
This also led to a funny conversation abour our favorite mnenomic devices, such as:
King Henry died drinking chocolate milk.
FOIL
RAVEN
Bad beer rots our young guts, but vodka goes well
To see what all of these stand for:
Kilo
Hecta
Deca
Deci
Centi
Milli
First, oustide, inside, last - Algebra to multiply two binomials
Remember
Affect
Verb
Effect
Noun
Black
Brown
Red
Orange
Yellow
Green
Blue
Violet
Grey
White
Posted by meloknee at 07:08 PM | Comments (4)
I am so sorry, Robertito's, please forgive me.
I can't believe I forgot Robertito's my favorite 24-hour mexican drive-thru restaurant. Oh, how could I? When my sister flew up here a couple weeks ago I made her buy me a bean and cheese burrito from Robertito's before she got on the plane to bring to me. She, unfortunately, left it in her fridge so I didn't get to eat it, but I was close, very close, to getting my yummy burrito.
Now I didn't expect them to have a website, at all, but they are freakin' famous, shouldn't someone have taken the time to write a damn review??!! AAAHHH so frustrated.
Posted by meloknee at 09:16 AM | Comments (0)
July 12, 2005
Hi, Fresno, this is Technology.
My love/hate relationship with Fresno continues. I was trying to compile an interactive list of all the restaurants I want to eat at while I'm in town with Alex in August, when it became realized that Fresno is not so interactive. I can't think of very many places that I frequent in Seattle that don't have their own websites. Most people I know have their own websites. The restaurants, coffee shops & stores that don't have websites at least have profiles on sites such as Citysearch. So, yes, a few of them did have websites, and I'm sure you will be just a impressed by them as I am. In the mean time, I have made a new goal for myself. I will go to the Fresno City search and enter information about every place listed that I possibly can. I think people deserve to know and I have a lot of free time on my hands at the moment.
So here goes my Not-so-interactive List of Restaurants to eat at in Fresno:
1. Shanghai Chinese Cuisine - This is one of my favorite sites. I was in absolute shock and hysterics to find out that Shanghai had a website. This is the Chinese restaurant that I spent 3 years of my life working and eating at. It has completely ruined my ability to eat most Chinese food. I don't know if it's as good as I think it is, but the orange flavored chicken, chinese chicken salad (yes, very american, I realize this), braised green beans and ginger chicken are to die for. Also the hot chicks in chinese dresses that greet you at the door.
2. DiCicco's - The best salad dressing & calzoni. I have yet to find a good calzone in Seattle. The thing about DiCicco's however is that they are all different, so I can only eat at the one on N. Cedar. This is the one that my family went to at least one Sunday a month after church.
3. Uncle Harry's Bagelry - A local chain of bagel shops that, until I moved to Seattle, I thought made decent coffee too. They have this peanut butter chocolate chip bagel that is delicious. Also you can get bagels with creams cheese and tomato slices, yummy.
4. Me-n-Eds Pizza - To my surprise while looking this place up I came to find out that there are Me-n-ed's pizzerias in the Vancouver area of Canada. The only place they exist out of Central California. I'm considering driving there this weekend. They have the best pizza of all time.
5. El Cochinito Contento - My favorite mexican restaurant in Fresno. Supposedly there are better ones, but this is my personal favorite.
6. Sam's Italian Deli or Piemonte's Deli - I really am having the worst time deciding which of these places I like better. I think the food at Sam's is better but the atmosphere at Piemonte's is better...picture Grandma Piemonte sitting on a stool and her 60-year-old, never-been-married son running the register, both of which are nearly deaf and you've gotta give them some credit, they at least try to have a website.
Anyway, I don't really remember where my mind was when this entry started, I think I had a plan and a focus...maybe it will come to me again some day.
Posted by meloknee at 07:13 PM | Comments (5)
July 11, 2005
the dog park
This weekend, bugg , bugg's little one and I took the doggies to Magnuson Dog Park. It was only Aggie's third time going to the dog park. I was a nervous wreck the whole time, constantly afraid she's going to attack and dominate an overly curious puppy or attack and dominate a dog 10 times her size. Instead, she behaved like an absolute angel and had a great time playing with her new friends, willow, keno & tico. She would've had much more fun if I hadn't been so neurotic and controlling, but hey, what can I say...
Posted by meloknee at 07:54 PM | Comments (1)
July 08, 2005
old friends are good friends
I've been talking with some of my old friends in preparation for my and alex's trip to California. I always felt like I grew up faster than the rest of my friends my age, but that's an entirely different story and more like a novel than a story. It's fun and interesting now to watch my friends become "adults." I say "adults" because we aren't becoming adults in the way people used to. Most of us aren't getting married, having kids, settling down in the suburbs or settling for some job where we hope to one day reach partner.
My friends are going back to school, moving to a new city, trying out new jobs, meeting great people that they'll share these journeys with. Instead of settling into a job, they are finding the courage to do what they maybe always wanted to but never got the chance to. I think growing up in Fresno stifled a lot of us. We had to work harder to get out and go after our dreams. We didn't have that many people to look up to. There isn't hardly anything more than a blue collar life style. It's great to see them becoming film makers, buying houses, starting new companies and growing into themselves.
I only keep in touch with about 5-6 people that I knew before becoming an adult (as in our government's standard which is age 21). I only consider about 3 of those as good friends. I talk to them a couple of times a year and if I'm lucky I see them once. This year, I'm dragging them to Fresno to see me (or working on it at least).
I am looking forward to going home. I get homesick sometimes, especially because I don't even have a "home" there anymore. The majority of my family has moved away and none of my friends live there. I can't wait to show alex the drab and boring place that I grew up and have this tumultuous love/hate relationship with. I want him to see the food court at the mall I hung out in as a pre-teen and I especially want him to see the OTC.
Posted by meloknee at 07:37 PM | Comments (0)
July 06, 2005
alliteration
I find alliteration very amusing. Therefore, I find this site extremely amusing. Acronyma is, "The largest database of acronyms and abbreviations on the web." This means you can type 'pppp' into the search field and get the result, Pakistan People's Party Parliamentarians, or Previous Paragraph Was Polemical Position. Then, you can laugh and laugh and laugh, or not, whatever.
Posted by meloknee at 07:33 PM | Comments (2)
reasons not to shop at pike place market
In theory, shopping at Pike Place Market is a good idea. I woke up early this morning with the best intentions. I gave aggielicious a much needed bath, fixed myself some breakfast and then got ready and headed out into the beautiful morning; my eyes set on the Market. The walk down the hill was pleasant enough. There were a few rocky patches as I fought my way through some tourists and hormone-filled-out-of-school teenagers, but overall it wasn't that bad. When I got down to the Market things got bad, real bad. So, the reasons not to support your local farmer's market:
1. Tourists
2. The smell of yesterday's fish fluids that have escaped with the melting ice and only get worse as the days heat up.
3. Yuppies with children, a.k.a. tourists.
4. People stop to look at the fruits and vegetables as if they've never seen them before. Oh, wait, those are tourists.
5. The suburbanites that think it is a good idea to try and get one of the 2 parking spots that are actually on the Market.
6. Did I mention the tourists?
Anyway, I got dirty looks and smart-ass comments for not being nice to some lady after she ran into me. Finally, I got my fruits and vegetables (it's easy once you actually reach your produce stand of choice because no one else there is actually buying anything) and got the hell out. My good intentions & good mood were gone.
Posted by meloknee at 07:07 PM | Comments (2)