99.9% of all things suck...

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August 31, 2005

help me...

I woke up this morning only to find myself having a mental breakdown.
I know people at my work read this, but I just have to say it...I don't like my job. It is Boring, yes, Boring with a capital B. It is starting to depress me. My brain is going to mush.
This is only part of my mental breakdown. The other part, the main part, is that I, once again, want to change what I plan on doing with my life. That's right, I don't think I want to be a librarian. I think I want to be a proofreader/editor. I think I have wanted to do this for most of my life...hence the red pen collection I have at home. I love, I mean LOVE, red pens. My friends used to buy them for me as gifts.

I used to edit my friends' school paper for them for free, for fun. I love the power of the red pen. I just can't help it. I started correcting my father's grammar when I was like 6 years old (After one too many evil eyes-I'm gonna spank your butt if you correct me again-however, I stopped).

Is it really too much to ask for a job that you enjoy?

I have made many, many lists of what I enjoy, it goes something like this:
Reading
Editing/Proofreading
Taking Pictures
Organizing
Cooking

Why do I not pursue any of these options? I went as far as to get that useless English degree. That's it. What now?

I will start over now, I suppose...

I have had this problem for many years, perhaps my whole life. Actually, that's not true, I have a specific incident that I believe led to this problem (for another day, another time). I never do anything that could lead to failure. I didn't try out for school plays after I got cast for a crappy role because I figured the next time, I wouldn't get cast at all. I took AP classes but not the tests. I only applied to the college I knew I could get into. I have only applied for jobs that I am over qualified for and I have gotten every job I have ever interviewed for. Most likely this is because the people that interview me realize that they have totally scored by finding this girl who doesn't think she's good enough for any other job and is totally over qualified for the job they are offering. This then leads to me being a *star* employee because most of what my job requires I could do in my sleep.

This is also why I think my favorite job ever was working in the group home. That was a job that required my full attention every minute that I was there. I loved it but it drained me to the core.
Anyway. Now I'm feeling lost. Words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Tell me what I should do with my life.

Posted by meloknee at 06:02 PM | Comments (4)

August 29, 2005

More aggie

I gave Aggie a new haircut on Sunday:

It made her tired and she gave me a good squeaky yawn.

Then, tonight, I decided to rearrange my apartment.

Because a week ago it looked like this:

Posted by meloknee at 11:25 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Aggie the Precious One

Look at how cute Aggie is sleeping under the covers in my arm.

Posted by meloknee at 11:51 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 26, 2005

picture of pictures

I don't know why, but I just love this picture.

Posted by meloknee at 01:08 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 25, 2005

7 more sucky things

continuing where I left off:

10. Hangnails.

11. Bromhidrosis.

12. Migraines.

13. Halitosis.

14. Hyperhidrosis.

15. FUBS.

16. Cheerleaders.

Posted by meloknee at 05:07 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 22, 2005

Impromptu movie fest

Saturday Alex and I participated in the very first Genrebusters movie fest. What started as a "veg day" turned into an awesome movie day. Dan rigged up a screen out of a couple sheets of foam core. We had a projector on loan. Who knew it was that easy. If only we had a couple grand laying around to buy our own projector, every weekend could be movie fest.

Movies watched:
1. 6ixtynin9 (Alex and I missed this one)
2. bittwersweet life (totally gruesome)
3. super inframan (one word = fantastic)
4. bullitt (truly a classic-McQueen is hot)
5. we're going to eat you (cannibalism and kung fu)

Posted by meloknee at 07:38 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

It's not the quote that's so funny

It's what one of my coworkers wrote after it.

So, someone in my office has one of those George W. Bushisms desk calendars. The quote on it is, "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." -Saginaw, Michigan; September 29, 2000

Thsi page was torn out and posted on the fridge at work. Under the quote, someone wrote, "No Way! Fish are evil doers. War on Fish!"

Fos some reason, every time I read that, War on Fish! It just cracks me up.

Posted by meloknee at 11:11 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 18, 2005

Neighborlies

I can't stand my neighbors. They don't do anything in their apartment that annoys me, it's them, as people. First of all, they're hippies. Not that pot smoking, mellow, drum beating type of hippies. That stuffy, we don't do any harm to our bodies, we are at the least vegetarian, if not vegan, don't do harm to the environment, type hippies. Maybe more new age? Not sure really, I try to avoid all contact with them.

They complained to the property manager (not just the resident manager-they don't like her, she's too relaxed in her managing style) the day after I moved in about my precious little aggie crying in my apartment. They never talked to me about it and have since made comments like, "we heard your poor little dog crying last night." But I know, that is their way of complaining. The girl is totally freaked out by my dog.

Anyway, with people like this, you must win your battles in small, discreet ways, for they are tattletales. You do anything too outright; egg the door, leave nasty notes, poison their cat, they'll tell on you. So, this morning, I was able to sneak in a tiny little snide remark that made me smile all the way to work.

I walked out of my apartment with aggie and saw the guy (who always looks as if he's heading out on safari) out on the communal balcony. He called me over, enticing me by saying, "this is so sad, you must see this..." I walk out and they are finally demo-ing the old house across the way. It's been a home to many homeless people over the years, well, not a home so much as a place to break in and sleep. Anyway, it was a mess and was about to fall down if it wasn't torn down.

When I walk over to him, he said, "Have you ever heard a house scream before?" Ugh. I wanted to vomit all over his word vomit. A house scream? I thought it was cool. I wanted to explain to him that someone had to sell that house to developers, they didn't just take it from them. Someone had to let the house go to shambles and not take care of it. Someone has to knock down old houses to make condos and new apartments, that's what makes a city. How can we grow, create more jobs, if we don't change?

Anyway, instead, when he said, Oh how sad, such a beautiful house being torn down for new condos. I said, "Well, they're keeping me employed because I work for an engineering firm."

With that, I turned and left. I felt good. I am being paid by "the man" at least in safari guy's mind. Of course I didn't bother to mention that I work for one of the most eco-friendly civil engineering firms in the city. That my coworkers are bigger hippies than they are. My boss's daughter has never been allowed to eat non-organic foods. The other boss is a vegetarian. We have done tons of city work with green roofs and win the bike-to-work challenge every year.

He doesn't need to know that. He doesn't need to know that I feel like the biggest heathen in my whole office because I love meat, dairy, fast food and clothing made in sweat shops (okay, not really). In fact my office looks like a living and breathing REI advertisement.

Anyway, screw you neighbor. I hope you don't keep me awake with your crying, and that house better not wake me up with its screaming either.

Posted by meloknee at 06:18 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

August 17, 2005

99 things that suck.

I have noticed that I haven't really been doing that much complaining. I used to complain and rant and whine constantly on this here blog. For some reason, however, it appears as though the last couple of weeks, or even months have brought me more cheer.

Well, down with cheer. Whaddya know, one day of rain and I'm back to my lovely grumpy self. I love it. Or should I say, "I'm loving it." AAAhhh. So here goes the beginning of my list of 99 things that suck:

1. McDonald's branding the saying, "I'm loving it."
This is so not fair. I mean that's such a common phrase, why should they be allowed to steal it from me. Bastards.

2. Seattle drivers.
Look, the road is clear, just pull out and turn already. Don't stop for me when I'm standing on the corner, what if I don't want to cross the street yet.

3. Seattle pedestrians.
It's hardly misting, put away the umbrella. Also, you really should share the sidewalk. Twice yesterday I had to shoulder check someone because it was either that or I had to jump the rail and land on I5 or walk into oncoming traffic.

4. Freelancing.
I was working so much before I went to part time that my doctor told me the reason I was sick so much last year was because I was working too much. At one point I even told my mom that I was making more money than I need. Now, I can hardly pay my rent.

5. Bumbershoot.
Did you see that STREB is performing EVERY DAY!

6. Bands that start their names with The (with the exception of The The).
The Decemberists
The Be Good Tanyas
The Waybacks
The Cops
The Locust
The Duhks
The Posies
The Bastards of Jazz
The Editorial We
The Donnas
The Ruby Doe
(all bands at bumbershoot)

7. Having joint custody of my dog.
Which goes along with a sub-item: 7.a. Having to see the ex-husband.

8. Knee surgery.
Not just the knee surgery, but the months and months of therapy which contributes to the never ending bills.

9. Wrist surgery the same year as knee surgery.
This will be my third, wait, no, fourth??

To be continued...

Posted by meloknee at 11:03 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 16, 2005

new found joys

The new found joys of being a non-smoker, or one joy, at least.

I was always jealous of people that could shower at night and be fine to go to work in the morning. How lucky they were to have that extra half hour to sleep. I, however, was not able to. My head and hair were always stinky. The hair loved to hold on to the stale smoke smell that surrounded me. The hair also became really greasy and stinky. Not just smoke stinky but head stinky. I've since concluded that it must have been tar and nicotine escaping from my pores (I wasn't even that huge of a smoker, a pack lasted 4-5 days).

Just the other day I was running really late. I hadn't taken a shower since the morning before and it was now the next afternoon. I really didn't have a choice though, I was meeting the fam at the movies. I had to leave without showering. At first I felt horribly disgusting (did any of you notice me stinking up the movie theater?), after all, it had been years since I hadn't showered before leaving the house, for fear of my stinky head. After the movie I felt fine though. In fact, I went out to dinner and then went shopping. It wasn't until later that evening I finally showered.

Well, since then, I have become a religious evening showerer (it's only been 4 days). It is so refreshing to shower when I get home for work, especially since I have to climb the ginormous Madison hill to get home, seriously folks, I walk uphill both ways. Then I just put on the PJs and relax. I'm so loving it. eew. isn't that the new mcdonalds slogan. I don't even eat mcdonalds and they've managed to brainwash me. I hardly even watch TV.

Anyway, seven months later and I'm still finding reasons to be happy that I quit smoking. Yay. I can sleep with rollers in my hair!

Posted by meloknee at 07:13 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

August 14, 2005

HELP!!

Right now there is a bird in my apartment. it's a small bird, thank goodness. It's been in here since 7:00 am or so. At least that's when it woke me up. There are now at least 2 bird shits and there are little feathers everywhere. That bird is really lucky that my dog is having a sleepover and won't be home until late this afternoon.

So, I have no idea how to get rid of said bird. If I chase it or wave things at it, I'm afraid it will poop on all of my furniture. I put some bread crust on the window sill to lure it out, no luck yet. My window was only open about a foot, because I have a fear of birds getting in my apartment. Now I have both of my windows WIDE open so there are about 50 flies in my livingroom. Once Bird decides to leave I'll have to spend the next 2 hours with fly swatter in hand acting like a killing machine. I normally kill about 5 flies a day. Today is going to be a new record.

Posted by meloknee at 10:51 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

August 13, 2005

aggie taking a dump

Posted by meloknee at 11:56 PM | Comments (2)

aggie at the dog park

My dog is pretty darn cute. She had fun at the dog park with all of her cousins.

Posted by meloknee at 11:55 PM | Comments (0)

August 11, 2005

fake scream

i [heart] the giant dipper.

Posted by meloknee at 11:25 PM | Comments (4)

Giant dipper

The Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk was super-duper fun.

Posted by meloknee at 11:24 PM | Comments (0)

meth

Written Tuesday 8/9/2005

I was listening to WNYC this morning and one of the shows was talking about meth. I don't know what all the hype is about meth. it's all over the news these days (CNN, NPR, MSNBC). Meth is old news. At least if you grew up in Central California. There were meth labs all over the place when I was in high school. All the chicks in school were doin' it to stay thin. One of my friends did crank all the time so that she'd get straight As in school. There was one guy who'd smoke it in my backyard (not with my permission). Little kids were getting killed when their meth-making parents accidentally lit the house on fire. Of course they weren't on meth, no one who makes the shit uses the shit. How could you? That stuff is foul.

I remember the day that I found out one of my best friends was doing crank. Earlier in the day she had asked me for a ride to get some pot. I wasn't exactly thrilled about doing that. At the time, i had maybe been drunk once and smoked cigarettes. All my friends smoked weed though, so I just went along with it. We went back to my house afterwards and were hanging out for awhile and then her dad came and picked her up. About an hour later she called frantically saying she needed to come back to pick up her purse she had forgotten. So she showed up and I grabbed her bag to take it downstairs to her. It felt practically empty and it shouldn't considering the amount of pot she had supposedly purchased. So I looked inside and saw the off-white powder.

It made sense, she had lost tons of weight and had been acting different. She had been hanging out with new friends. She had been really depressed and now she was "happy."

I told no one, except for one friend. He talked to her, I talked to her, we didn't tell a soul. Her parents were freakin' missionaries and close friends of my parents. We had BEGGED her parents to let her go to public school with me that year. I was supposed to be "watching out for her." I was 2 years older than her.

About a month later she tried to kill herself.

Meth is awesome, or not. It is also NOT new.

It was amazing, in a frightening sad way, while listening to this radio show that is based out of NY, NY, nearly every caller that called in to tell of their fight against meth was from a "small town in central california." I remember taking drives through the foothills and being able to smell the labs. Aaah, if only they had pulled cough syrup off the shelves 15 years ago, everything would be fine. What kind of bullshit answer to a serious problem is that?

Posted by meloknee at 11:56 AM | Comments (5)

August 10, 2005

Grandpa with Aggie

My grandpa, Reuben "Bill" Henry Doss, died last night.

Five things about my grandpa:
5. He lived in snow caves during WWII and saw Mussolini hung in the Piazza Loreto in Italy.
4. His family was so poor when he was a child that one year for Christmas they got tin cups filled with cow poop in their stockings, just so they'd have something.
3. My grandpa taught my brother and I how to kill a rattle snake, shoot a gun and catch a rabbit with nothing but a box, a stick and a carrot.
2. He gave me my love for dogs. In fact, he gave us our first dog ever, a poodle named Tiger. He also died with Olive, my parent's poodle that had pretty much adopted my grandpa as her owner, laying in his lap.
1. He loved his wife and daughter, very, very much.

Posted by meloknee at 12:54 PM | Comments (6)

August 09, 2005

Drinking beer at Fresno State

We were totally breaking the law.

Posted by meloknee at 10:31 AM | Comments (1)

Alex picking nose

I don't know who this is a sculpture of,
I remember thinking it looked like William
Saroyan, but I was drunk and looking at it
now, if it is him, it's not very good.
We were walking around Fresno State
dinking beers and went to my old art
department, we found this.

Posted by meloknee at 10:29 AM | Comments (0)

while in fresno

I went into this cafe to get some iced tea. I had this turquoise flowered purse with me (most of you know the one) and the girl at the counter asked me where I got it. A lot of people ask me where I got this purse, i get compliments on it quite often. It's really nothing special, I reply, "The Gap."

She said, "I try not to shop at the Gap."

I remember feeling this way. I remember how Fresno makes you want to rebel against the "big chain stores." However, what I want to ask her is, Where the hell do you shop?

There is nothing but big chain stores. There is nothing but the Gap. Do you shop only at thrift stores? Aren't half of those clothes originally form the Gap or Old Navy anyway. It's not as though they have an American Apparel where you know that everything was made sweatshop free, etc.

Do you by your clothes at Sears? Maybe she likes to wear toughskins?
And now that I'm thinking about it, I don't think she said, "I try not to shop at the Gap."

I think she said, "I try to avoid the Gap." Like it's the fucking plague or something. Or like it could happen anyway.

Things I try to avoid:

Getting hit by a car.
Burning my mouth on hot coffee.
Getting fat.
Falling down the stairs.

See, now that was a good example. I try to avoid falling down the stairs, but sometimes it happens anyway. It really sucks when it does, and maybe I could have been more careful, but I tried to avoid it.

You don't try to avoid the Gap. You either do or you don't. Yes, I'm sorry you live in Fresno and want to get out. But seriously, I remember that need-to-leave feeling and that need to try to do everything opposite of the norm in Fresno. It's hard living in a city that has Alan Autry as a mayor and a city that has new strip malls every week. However, I think you need to accept that, embrace that, make it your own, do what you can to improve your quality of life, or just get the hell out. Stop avoiding things, stop making excuses and leave.

I left Fresno with a new appreciation for it. Life there is easy, simple. No parking problems, no traffic, cheap food on every corner. Not only that, but people don't expect as much out of you. And whenever you feel down, remember, Fresno used to be cool:

However, I do have one problem, can someone tell Fresno that it's okay to go out drinking on Mondays???

on another note, some pics of fresno:

(food is still to come)

Posted by meloknee at 08:49 AM | Comments (4)

Mel, Theresa & Kathie

Here we are in front of "'stones,"
one of my old hangouts.
Oddly enough, didn't see anyone I knew.
Good thing I talked Kathie & Theresa
into coming to visit us!!

(notice the finger in the lower right-hand corner. that's alex.
both of us had serious finger-in-picture problems, i blame it
on the $15 camera)

Posted by meloknee at 08:24 AM | Comments (0)

August 08, 2005

Note to self:

Do not watch Office Space on Sunday afternoon. This will make your life miserable. Talk about a case of the Mondays.

A few things I learned while on vacation, as of now only one of those will be discussed.

I learned that I have a very firm idea of what a vacation really is, and I need one. I know, I'm an ungrateful bitch. I just got back from an 8 day "vacation," poor me. Seriously though, I realized that my family raised me with certain types of vacations. I think it was because we never had very much money, so our vacations were very simple, usually camping. Sometimes there was a cabin or beach house involved, but that's it. We'd either pack up our tents or rent our cabin and go, for a week. Once we got where we were going we did nothing.

If we were camping, we'd read, fish, cook lots of yummy food, dad played the guitar. We drew pictures, made crafts, wrote letters to our friends. We'd do this for 6 or 7 days and it was great. We'd go swimming in the lake, boogie boarding in the ocean, riding on the trails. We did all of these things with no agenda, half the time we did them on our own. We didn't have mandatory bike riding time, or daily fishing excursions. If I wanted to wake up early at the butt crack of dawn to drink hot chocolate and fish with my dad, I did; if I didn't want to, he went by himself. Usually I wanted to.

I miss those vacations. I guess now, I feel the need to go places and do things, I don't know why. I want to go back to the old days. I want to feel rested or bored on vacation. I want to get a tan by the lake, read so many books that I have to read something I wouldn't normally because I finished all the books I brought. I want my iPod to run out of juice and not have anywhere to plug it in. I want to cook yummy, delicious food, make s'mores and drink hot buttered rum while sitting on a cooler full of Coors light.

The only problem: I want my boyfriend to come with me.

So, if anyone knows of campgrounds with wireless internet so alex can go on vacation with me, I'd greatly appreciate the knowledge.

Posted by meloknee at 07:50 PM | Comments (2)

August 07, 2005

Vacation wrap-up #1

There's way too much to say in in one entry...

Pictures will come in the next few days but since alex and i both managed to forget our digital cameras i have to take actual film in to be developed.

I'm so glad to be back with my doggie, i missed her so much, i can't stand leaving her to go on vacation...next time i want her to come with. I did have to give her a bath as soon as i got home though because she had so much fun with her cousins at the dog park today.

Here are my favorite purchases:

Alex loved Fresno State!

80s Vans

Kid Robot Rocks

Oh, and despite the massive amount of food i consumed, i only gained 3 pounds...it was so worth it!!

Posted by meloknee at 08:47 PM | Comments (0)

August 02, 2005

Fresno, You Know!

Restaurants eaten at as of Tuesday, 5:00 pm, 27 hours into the Fresno experience:
Foster's Freeze
Di Ciccos
El Cochinito Contento
Me-N-Ed's
Uncle Harry's

pictures to come...

Posted by meloknee at 05:02 PM | Comments (1)