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May 04, 2006
Too much to think about these days
There are some things going on - that I can't talk about - at work these days. It makes coming in every day even more difficult...but I don't really want a new job. I like it here enough that I'm comfortable and don't want to change jobs again before starting grad school. This job is the perfect balance for running my proofreading business and still having time to volunteer and focus on getting ready for school. So, yes, It's frustrating.
Also, I am having fourth or fifth thoughts (definitely past second) about going into Library Science. My heart just isn't in it. Although I think I would do well in the program and enjoy myself enough, it isn't my "calling". I'm constantly turning back to all of my good memories of working at the group home, working at the retirement community, volunteering for the special needs schools, volunteering for Special Olympics, anything dealing with social work or education of children with special needs.
I went through some really difficult times while working in these fields, but now I'm realizing a lot of the emotional responses I was having back then were because I was so young; only eight years old when I first started volunteering. I was forced to deal with some of my students passing away when I was only 17 and had a lady at the retirement home have a heart attack and die only five feet from me when I was 18. I don't think I was ready to deal with all of the heartache that came along with the field of work I was so actively pursuing.
So now, I am torn. I am torn between a business-like career that would be a regular nine-to-five job with benefits and regularly scheduled vacation; one that would allow me to easily separate work life and home life; and one of pagers, tears, but also one with life experiences that will have an impact on me and I in turn will have an impact on society.
Posted by meloknee at May 4, 2006 11:46 AM
Comments
I know that internal struggle you speak of, and so I hope that you get closer to figuring your situation out. It also sounds like you're leaning towards the second option... regular 9 to 5 crap ain't all that wonderful. Still, make the best decision you can for yourself. Good luck. :)
Posted by: Lisa at May 5, 2006 01:41 PM
I would love to see you go back to helping people, especially special needs children. I've seen first hand how WONDERFUL you are with children and how good you have been to Jackson and Holden. Anyone you work with would be so lucky to have you. You have a good heart.
Posted by: Bugg at May 6, 2006 05:06 PM
Have you considered special ed instead of social work? Your passion plus regular hours? Not near as much paperwork. Gay has only 5 students and loves it. You're awesome
Posted by: justme at May 7, 2006 06:41 PM
Lisa, thanks :)
Bugg, I've been thinking about OT, but I would have to take a lot of science classes, yuck.
ma, yes, I'm thinking that too ;)
Posted by: melanie at May 9, 2006 01:55 PM
Mel! I have so much to learn about you!! E-mail me when you get time, I have exciting news in my life!!
Posted by: Amber Ricketts at May 17, 2006 08:22 PM