April 05, 2006
I'm a big fat liar.
i'm not a compulsive liar, but for some reason I just lie sometimes. I don't think about it ahead of time,it's rarely to avoid any serious consequences, and it's to the most random people. I haven't quite determined why or when I do it, but I think it is to avoid conversation and embarrassment.
For instance, at work, over six months ago, BubbleT and I were discussing going to the gym. At the time, I had a gym membership, but ever since the knee surgery, I hadn't used it much. I kept telling her that I was going to go back, blah, blah, blah... some time went by and one day she asked me if I had gone back. I opened my mouth and said, "No, I canceled my membership." Big fat lie. I had intended on canceling it, but hadn't even found the paperwork necessary to do so. About two months later, I confessed. I mean, I had no reason to lie in the first place, so why not tell the truth. I had to go to the post office to send my gym membership cancellation via certified mail. BubbleT asked me where I was going and I thought, well I can either lie some more or just tell her. So I just said, well I actually lied and never did cancel the gym...
Another instance is that I was supposed to be testing out this VPN software that works with our terminal server. For the first two months I just flaked. Then when I did try it, it didn't work. Then part of it worked, then it worked on my laptop at work, but not my laptop at home (same laptop, i am a dork, but i don't have two laptops). Finally the stupid tech guy informs me that i can't use my wireless to test it. Well, that's all I have. My desktop and laptop access wirelessly. So, another couple of weeks go by where I keep flaking on testing it (not wanting to crawl around on the floor plugging and unplugging and replugging again) and finally, one Tuesday, the tech guy asks me if I got a chance to try out the VPN. I looked at him and just said, Oh yeah, it worked fine. End of story.
Tomorrow I'm going to lie again, I already know this. BubbleT is going to ask me whether or not a made an appointment with my massage therapist. My leg and knee have been killing me. I really don't think I should be spending $70 on a massage right now. Even though I'm hobbling around, I feel too guilty telling my boyfriend I can't pay to go out and having to pay my parents back for the generous loan they gave me, to justify going to get a "massage." So, anyway, BubbleT will ask me if I've done it, I'll tell her they were booked for the rest of the week, and the only reason I want it done is to be able to dance at the wedding I'm going to on Saturday night. I have a feeling she'll know I'm lying.
In the meantime, wish positive thoughts that someone cancels their massage appointment at the last minute, that way I can get the discounted "last minute massage."
Posted by meloknee at 09:56 PM | Comments (6)
December 13, 2005
Meloknee On:
OCD
Most people that know me, know that I "suffer" from a mild form of OCD. 
I say mild because I'm not like Monk or anything, I don't have to carry handi-wipes with me and although I'm clean I'm not too obsessive about it. Truth be told, carrying around handi-wipes sounds like a good idea, the reason I don't do it is because I know that once I started, I couldn't stop. So I guess I'm a very aware OCD person. I try to avoid things that I know will turn into obsessive behaviors.
Putting that blanket on my couch was a really bad idea...every 10 minutes I make alex stand up so that I can straighten it. 
Although there are some very annoying and frustrating things about my OCD, such as the fact that I have eczema because I wash my hands too much, which causes me to put lotion on every time I wash my hands, which means I have to carry lotion with me everywhere I go, or the fact that it takes me a good 10 minutes to leave the house every day because I have to make sure I've packed everything that I'll need for my one hour excursion to the coffee shop.
The problem is every time I get annoyed with being so obsessive something happens to reinforce it. Like the time alex and I were heading for San Fran and the whole time in the cab I was thinking to myself, "Don't ask him if he remembered his pills, don't ask him if he remembered his pills, don't ask him if he remembered his pills." Then I couldn't help myself and I blurted out, "You did remember your pills, right?" Sure enough he hadn't. We would have been totally screwed had we not had the pills. We would've spent a day schlepping around trying to call his doctor, finding a pharmacy, going to the pharmacy, or worse.
I am very obsessive about my phone & email too. I check my email an insane amount of times during the day. It sometimes starts to really sicken me, but I can't stop!! So, this morning I got up to use the bathroom at 6:00 a.m. and went to check my email. I like to check my email anytime I wake up after 5:00 a.m., even though I fully intend on sleeping another 2-3 hours. My theory is that so many potential clients live on the east coast and if they email me in the morning, I 
may not get it until noon their time if I wait until I actually wake up. By then they probably will have found someone else to do their work - people aren't very patient when they have deadlines.
So, this morning as I was reaching out to the mouse to wake up my sleeping computer, I thought to myself, "You are sick in the head. You have to stop obsessing about your email." I couldn't resist though, I did it, I hit refresh. Sure enough, there it was, someone from Florida looking for a proofreader!! They had sent the email just 15 minutes earlier. I replied and got a phone call 2 hours later...I scored myself a new client; all thanks to my OCD.
Posted by meloknee at 09:12 AM | Comments (8)
November 28, 2005
Meloknee on:
Whores.
I got this email the other day:
Hello,
I wanted to inquire about exchanging blogs links/blogrolls with you. We have just started a new "_____ Blog" at http://www.________.com, a very active large _______ community. To visit the blog, you may go straight there by click here: http://www._________.com/____-blog
Let us know if you would be interested!
Warmest,
Michael
What is up with that? He is totally whoring out his blog and expecting me to go along with it. What an ass. This is not the way blogging works, is it? I am working on my response. Something along the lines of:
Dear you stupid whore,
If you want me to link to your blog, perhaps you should read mine, comment on mine, link to mine. Then, maybe, if I feel so inclined, I will read yours, comment on your and then maybe, just maybe, if I like you, if you are funny, if you stop being a stupid whore, I will link to you. Or, just send cash.
Thank you,
meloknee
Posted by meloknee at 12:12 PM | Comments (4)
November 17, 2005
Meloknee on:
Why it's good to do an internship or volunteer work before you commit to your master's program:
I do not want to be a school librarian. No way, jose.
First, I have discovered, despite my group home work, I do not like working with kids. I think the main difference is that with the group home, it was small groups, max 6 kids at a time. Even at 6 kids there was always at least a 1:3 ratio. I can't handle 20 kids at once. I just want to smack them all around. That's the other thing, at the group home, I could totally yell at them and no one cared--they weren't getting' smacked so they were happy. Oh, and when they were really crazy, I had the right to restrain them - pin them on the ground - until they calmed down.
Anyway, there are many reasons why I have determined school librarianship is not for me. When you work in a class and you don't have a teacher's aide, you can't go take a bathroom break or a coffee break. This SUCKS. This is unacceptable in my book. I have to pee, a lot. I have to be able to pee as many times a day as I want. This is a requirement of my workplace. I can't worry about leaving 20 little hellions to go pee.
I also have to have coffee whenever I want. No, not teacher's lounge coffee, real coffee. You don't get one break all day that is long enough to hit up the local coffee shop. Unacceptable.
Those are just two of the basic reasons, there are many more, but who needs more than that?
Yep, there was a time when I thought summers off and winter & spring break made up for all the hassle, but it doesn't.
There are many other arenas in the MLIS field for me to try out...what next?
Posted by meloknee at 02:50 PM | Comments (2)
October 17, 2005
Meloknee on:
Life as a dork:
Sometimes it's hard being such a dork. I trip and fall a lot, I drop things, knock things over, occasionally I even run into things.
This has led to such incidences as falling and tearing the ligaments in my knee while at my favorite bar in front of nearly all of my friends. Regularly tripping over my own feet in front of my boyfriend. I fell down the front steps of my apartment just 3 months after my knee surgery in front of three people that lived in my building (lucky for me they have all since moved out so I don't have to shudder with embarrassment on a daily basis any longer). I once spilled an entire beer in my lap and didn't go home to change. I just sat there, one block from my apartment, and ordered another beer.
Just this weekend alone I was trying to scoot my chair in at the table while we were eating dinner at Mama's Mexican Kitchen and I bumped - hard, not lightly - the table legs and knocked a bottle of Tapatio 
onto the ground and spilled our drinks. Then, only hours later at a hockey game, I was trying to not disturb the other people in my aisle, so I thought it would be a good idea to climb over the seats. Well, I didn't think about the mechanics of a folding seat and stepped on the wrong side, causing me to fully straddle the seat, with one leg stuck between the folded up part and the back. I then couldn't get my shoe back through so I had to take it off to pull my foot out. Luckily I know myself well enough that I handed Alex the beers before I tried to perform such a risky maneuver.
You eventually get used to these things happening and they aren't quite as embarrassing as they were in high school when you were trying to impress the cute boy in class and fell down the stairs while you were talking to them. You learn not to do certain things, like race to the car or challenge someone to a pogo stick contest.
Or, you find yourself a boyfriend that is as big a dork as you are, so it's okay that you do these things...
Update:
For the record, since this post I have fallen off my exercise ball, hitting my head against the couch which sent the couch sliding back about a foot, my tailbone on the ground and cracked my back. Just in case anyone didn't believe what a klutz I am.
Posted by meloknee at 01:54 PM | Comments (4)